Five Dice, All Threes
Okay, so I gotta get something off my chest. First of all, can we please stop with the minute-long intros filled with random found sounds? Every indie musician seems to kick off their album that way, and it just feels pointless. This album is no exception—it’s packed with found sounds and movie clips that don’t really add anything. In tracks like “Tiny Suicides,” they just end up being a distraction.
Now, let’s talk about the production. It’s not overly polished in the general sense, but for a Bright Eyes album, it feels a bit too much. Their folk vibe usually shines through when things are more stripped back, you know? The songs here don’t feel as intimate or personal; they come off as a little overdramatic. Bright Eyes is known for self-deprecating lyrics that hit hard in more personal tracks, but a lot of these songs feel theatrical and explosive instead. Sure, they’ve always had a flair for the dramatic, but it was that folksy flair that never felt over the top—if that makes sense.
Also, it feels like the whole album is just blasting at full volume all the time. Almost every song is this epic experience, which kinda kills the pacing. Some of the production choices are just weird distractions, like the record scratches and turntable effects on “Spun Out” and “The Time I Have Left.” I mean, they sound cool, but on “Spun Out,” it feels messy, and on “The Time I Have Left,” it clashes with the song's more intimate vibe. What’s the point of that? And can we talk about Conor's voice for a sec? It sounds... off? I know voices change over time, but there was something raw and gritty about his earlier stuff that I really liked. Here, it feels way too polished.
But hey, it’s not all bad. The lyrics are still on point. The first track, “Bells and Whistles,” is loaded with relatable lines like “In the photo booth, made me hate myself” and clever ones like “Expensive jokes and cheap thrills cost a lot.” It seems to dive into the whole celebrity lifestyle, with lines that paint a pretty exhausting picture of constant travel and socializing. That personal touch is classic Bright Eyes.
Then you’ve got “Tiny Suicides,” where Conor lays out his flaws for everyone to see: “Tried to tip my way into heaven’s gate / Must have lost a fortune along the way.” The whole album definitely has this dark, gloomy vibe. “Hate” features Conor taking on this persona that just tears apart every religion and himself, and then he throws in a reference to AI: “The artificial poets from the future are here.” It’s kind of an uncomfortable listen, to be honest.
But then there are moments that leave me scratching my head, like when he says, “Elon Musk, in virgin whites, I killed him in an alleyway over five dice.” Like, what even is that about? And the album has this weird mix where there’s only one real political track, “Trains Still Run On Time,” yet a bunch of others throw in political lines. One minute he’s singing about personal failures, and then bam—environmental destruction out of nowhere. It just makes the songs feel a bit all over the place. Also, there’s this line about “Like another shitty Scorsese movie.” What’s the deal with that? The pop culture references can feel distracting, to be honest.
Now, back to the good stuff: despite my gripes about the production, some of the compositions are really nice. A lot of the tracks switch up keys, and a few even play around with augmented chords, giving them this cool, spacey vibe. I didn’t totally hate the production either. The sliding guitar on tracks like “Tiny Suicides,” “Real Feel 150,” and “Tin Soldier Boy” brings this despondent shine to the sound. It’s just too bad they had to pile on boring drums and generic backing vocals in some spots.Oh, and Cat Power makes an appearance! I was pretty stoked about that—her voice is a nice touch.
BRIGHT EYES - FIVE DICE, ALL THREES
RATING - 7.2/10
FAVORITE TRACK - El Capitan
GENRE - Alt/Indie, Rock