Pink Pony Club

There’s something about Pink Pony Club that feels... off. Not in the “this is so unique and weird” kind of way, but in the “why does this feel like it was grown in a test tube” way. It’s like someone ran a simulation to create the perfect underdog anthem, the kind of song that should be empowering but instead feels eerily engineered to worm its way into every playlist, every TikTok edit, every “this song changed my life” post. It’s not quite an industry plant situation—Chappell Roan’s journey seems real enough—but this song has that overly-processed, hyper-calculated energy that makes it feel a little... fake.

It’s frustrating because, on paper, I should like this. The narrative is there: a girl chasing her dream, rejecting small-town expectations, finding herself in the neon glow of LA’s club scene. The production is huge, the melodies are sweeping, and the chorus is practically begging to be screamed in a stadium. But instead of feeling like a genuine outpouring of passion, it feels like it was designed in a lab to hit every emotional high point in the most predictable way possible. Every note, every lyric, every big, cathartic moment feels genetically modified for maximum relatability. It’s like a Broadway number desperately trying to be a pop song.

And don’t even get me started on how sticky this song is—not in a good way. The hook is catchy in that can’t-get-it-out-of-your-head-no-matter-how-hard-you-try kind of way, but it overstays its welcome so fast. By the second listen, it already feels like it’s been drilled into my brain a thousand times. And the production? So polished, so pristine, so aggressively shiny that it starts to feel artificial.

I get why people love Pink Pony Club. I really do. It’s big, it’s dramatic, it’s meant to make you feel something. But instead of feeling inspired, I just feel... gross. Like I’ve been fed a synthetic version of self-expression, one designed to be digestible, viral, and emotionally manipulative in the most unsubtle way possible.

Maybe this song really does change lives. Maybe it really does make people cry tears of joy. But all I hear is a product—one that knows exactly what it’s doing.

CHAPPELL ROAN - PINK PONY CLUB

RATING - 6.6/10

GENRE - Pop